Humor

Dear Listener,

Dear Listener,

Like the previous books in A Series of Unfortunate Events, there is nothing to be heard here but misery, despair, and discomfort, and you still have time to choose something else to listen to.

Dear Listener,

This audio is the only one which describes every last detail of the Baudelaire children's miserable stay at Heimlich Hospital, which makes it one of the most dreadful audios in the world.

Dear Listener,

I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to listen to this recording because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put down this audio instantaneously, because of all the audios describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest yet.

Dear Listener,

Nobody in their right minds would listen to this particular book about the lives of Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire on purpose, because each dismal moment of their stay at the village of V.F.D. has been faithfully and dreadfully recorded on this program.

Whether it's waking up to find toads in their shoes, becoming trapped on the roof, or searching for cheese when their cow only makes lemonade, the Pepin family always seems to get into the most bizarre scrapes. Lucky for them, they have an author with large psychic antennae and great problem-solving listeners who can join the Pepins on their hilarious adventures.

The plan was simple. Ethan Cheeseman, along with his three smart, polite, and relatively odor-free children, would travel back in time to end a family curse and save their mother. Now that the LVR (a super-secret time machine) is working, it's easy peasy. Except they didn't account for one basic rule of science: Murphy's Law - if something can go wrong, it will.