Humor

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The Zippity Zinger: Hank Zipzer, the Mostly True Confessions of the World's Best Underachiever (Unabridged)

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It's time for PS 87's annual Olympiad, the most anticipated day of the school year! But when Hank Zipzer is chosen as his team's softball pitcher, the pressure is on. Can Hank lead his team to victory, even though he thinks he is the worst athlete in the history of the world?

Grade Level: 
Lexile: 
730L
Length: 
02:33
The Zippity Zinger: Hank Zipzer, the Mostly True Confessions of the World's Best Underachiever (Unabridged)

I Am Not Joey Pigza (Unabridged)

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Just when Joey Pigza's wired world finally seems to be under control, his good-for-nothing dad pops back into his life. This time, though, Carter Pigza is a new man - literally. After a lucky lotto win, he has a crazy new outlook on life, and he's even changed his name to Charles Heinz. He thinks Joey and his mom should become new people, too.

Author: 
Grade Level: 
Lexile: 
950L
Length: 
04:47
I Am Not Joey Pigza (Unabridged)

Goldilocks and the Three Bears (Unabridged)

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Three bears come home from a bicycling trip through the woods to find a little girl "all nice and cozy and fast asleep" in Baby Bear's bed.

Grade Level: 
Lexile: 
520L
Length: 
00:08
Goldilocks and the Three Bears (Unabridged)

How Do Dinosaurs Get Well Soon? (Unabridged)

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From enormous sneezes to gigantic wails, the outrageous antics of these mischievous ailing dinosaurs will strike a chord and bring a smile to any child or grown-up who has ever sniffed, snuffled, coughed, or ached.

Author: 
Grade Level: 
Lexile: 
AD230L
Length: 
00:04
How Do Dinosaurs Get Well Soon? (Unabridged)

How Do Dinosaurs Say Goodnight? (Unabridged)

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Few words pack a lot of punch in this delightful story about bedtime rituals. There will be no pouting or shouting or moping or moaning when the lights go out because dinosaur kids everywhere will want to see this production again and again.

Author: 
Grade Level: 
Lexile: 
AD210L
Length: 
00:04
How Do Dinosaurs Say Goodnight? (Unabridged)

Diary of a Wimpy Kid (Unabridged)

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Acclaimed debut author Jeff Kinney brilliantly re-creates the typical humor and logic of middle-school boys sidling into adolescence.

Author: 
Grade Level: 
Lexile: 
950L
Length: 
03:54
Diary of a Wimpy Kid (Unabridged)

The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales (Unabridged)

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Fairy tales are just for little kids, aren't they? Not when they're twisted around and retold in versions tailor-made for a second- or third-grader's sense of humor! From "Little Red Running Shorts" to "The Princess and the Bowling Ball," readers will delight as the familiar becomes ridiculous — in both words and pictures.

Author: 
Grade Level: 
Lexile: 
520L
Length: 
00:22
The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales (Unabridged)

The Austere Academy: A Series of Unfortunate Events #5 (Unabridged)

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Dear Listener,


If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent and resourceful children, and you might expect that they would do very well at school.

Don't.

Grade Level: 
Lexile: 
1120L
Length: 
03:16
The Austere Academy: A Series of Unfortunate Events #5 (Unabridged)

The Bad Beginning, a Multi-Voice Recording: A Series of Unfortunate Events #1 (Unabridged)

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Like a car alarm, bagpipe music, or a doorbell ringing in the middle of the night, hearing this all-new audio edition of The Bad Beginning will only upset you. This unique multi-voice recording brings the first book in Lemony Snicket's alarming A Series of Unfortunate Events to such terrible life that no one should really have to experience it.

Grade Level: 
Lexile: 
1010L
Length: 
02:30
The Bad Beginning, a Multi-Voice Recording: A Series of Unfortunate Events #1 (Unabridged)

The End: A Series of Unfortunate Events #13 (Unabridged)

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Dear Listener,

Grade Level: 
Lexile: 
NC1370L
Length: 
05:53
The End: A Series of Unfortunate Events #13 (Unabridged)

The Ersatz Elevator: A Series of Unfortunate Events #6 (Unabridged)

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Dear Listener,


Like the previous books in A Series of Unfortunate Events, there is nothing to be heard here but misery, despair, and discomfort, and you still have time to choose something else to listen to.

Grade Level: 
Lexile: 
1110L
Length: 
04:24
The Ersatz Elevator: A Series of Unfortunate Events #6 (Unabridged)

The Grim Grotto: A Series of Unfortunate Events #11 (Unabridged)

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Dear Listener,

Grade Level: 
Lexile: 
1120L
Length: 
06:00
The Grim Grotto: A Series of Unfortunate Events #11 (Unabridged)

The Hostile Hospital: A Series of Unfortunate Events #8 (Unabridged)

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Dear Listener,


This audio is the only one which describes every last detail of the Baudelaire children's miserable stay at Heimlich Hospital, which makes it one of the most dreadful audios in the world.

Grade Level: 
Lexile: 
1110L
Length: 
04:13
The Hostile Hospital: A Series of Unfortunate Events #8 (Unabridged)

The Miserable Mill: A Series of Unfortunate Events #4 (Unabridged)

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Dear Listener,

I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to listen to this recording because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put down this audio instantaneously, because of all the audios describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest yet.

Grade Level: 
Lexile: 
1000L
Length: 
02:56
The Miserable Mill: A Series of Unfortunate Events #4 (Unabridged)

The Penultimate Peril: A Series of Unfortunate Events #12 (Unabridged)

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Lemony Snicket returns with the last book before the last book of his New York Times best-selling A Series of Unfortunate Events.

After any harrowing struggle, it is nice to consider checking into a hotel for a rest. In fact, this might be just the break Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire could use after their wearying deep-sea adventure.

Grade Level: 
Lexile: 
NC1280L
Length: 
06:27
The Penultimate Peril: A Series of Unfortunate Events #12 (Unabridged)

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